Why Essays Lowkey Stress Me Out (But Also Help Me Think)
Okay so real talk: I have a love-hate relationship with essays. Like, I get why they exist—we're supposed to learn how to express ourselves, argue a point, yada yada—but sometimes I stare at a blank Google Doc for, like, two hours wondering how I ever passed 10th grade English.
Thing is, no one really tells you how many types of essays there actually are until you’re knee-deep in a college semester with three due in the same week. I swear, I used to think an essay was just... you know, an essay. Intro, body, conclusion. Boom. But now I’m out here juggling argumentative essays, literary analysis, compare and contrast, narrative ones (which are weirdly fun, tbh), and then random hybrid things professors invent because they can.
Like last week, my sociology prof assigned this “reflective essay but with cited sources and a thesis.” Sir, is that even a genre that exists?? Are we just making stuff up now?
Anyway, I was venting about this to my roommate—she’s a writing major so she has Opinions™—and she pulled out this whole mental chart of essay types and explained the vibes of each one. Apparently, there are actual categories: expository, descriptive, persuasive, narrative, analytical... the list keeps going. I googled it later (because of course I did) and found out there are so many different types of essays in the English language, it honestly blew my mind. Like, how are middle schoolers even surviving this? "Types of essays middle school" brought up some wild stuff. Kids are writing five-paragraph argumentative essays in seventh grade?? That explains a lot about the education system.
Honestly though, the weird thing is—even though writing essays can be annoying and sometimes kinda pointless feeling—I actually like some of the more creative ones. Narrative essays? Those are fun. I wrote one last semester about my horrible first date with this guy who tried to pay for dinner with Canadian dollars (we live in Michigan, dude, what). It was lowkey therapeutic to write, and my professor gave me a B+ for “voice” and “characterization,” which felt weirdly flattering for an essay about a failed Tinder date.
I think the problem is, school makes everything so formulaic. Like, there's this pressure to follow super rigid structures depending on the type of essay, and it kinda kills the vibe. Not that structure isn’t important—I mean yeah, you don’t want to be rambling off-topic for five pages—but sometimes I just wanna say what I’m thinking without needing a topic sentence that sounds like it came out of an SAT prep book.
Also, don’t even get me started on timed essays. Whoever invented that format clearly had no love in their heart. It’s like: “Here, write a coherent and compelling argument about an abstract philosophical concept... in 45 minutes. Good luck!” Like bro, my brain doesn’t even start working until 20 minutes in. I need time to spiral and overthink a little before I can produce anything mildly intelligent.
But I will admit, learning the different types of essay writing has helped me figure out how to adapt my voice depending on what’s expected. Like if it’s a persuasive essay, I know I need to bring in some hard evidence and maybe a little sass. Analytical? I gotta break things down methodically. And if it’s a descriptive one, I get to go full poetic and make things sound pretty. So yeah, I guess each type of essay has its own personality, and once you know the “rules,” it becomes kind of like a writing puzzle.
Still, I really wish more profs would just let us experiment a little. Like give us prompts that let us blend genres of essays instead of locking us into one style. Not saying I want to write a 10-page hybrid narrative-rhetorical-historical-analysis monster, but like... maybe I kinda do?
Anyway, all this to say: essays are stressful, yes, but also kind of useful. Writing a bunch of different type of essays in college has made me way better at figuring out what I actually think. Like, I’ll be in the middle of writing and go, “Wait, that’s a valid point,” and then suddenly I’m convinced I’m some kind of philosopher. (I'm not. But still.)
So yeah. If you’re out there struggling through essay season, I feel you. Just know that even though it feels like you’re dying slowly inside, your brain is lowkey getting stronger. And who knows—maybe you’ll even find a kind of essay you don’t totally hate.
Unless it's a timed one. Those are trash forever.
Reading your post reminded me of how essays often sneak up on you with their variety and hidden rules. I used to feel the same way when juggling multiple assignments and trying to keep track of what each professor wanted. While it can be overwhelming, I realized that just like with essays, having reliable academic support makes a difference. For instance, when I was balancing my online accounting class help service, it felt like someone finally lifted a weight off my shoulders. Structure is important, but flexibility keeps you sane.